Nikki (nakeisha) wrote,

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Alphabet Meme. Rupert Giles (Buffyverse)

TITLE: Counsel Thy Self
AUTHOR: Nikki Harrington
FANDOM: Buffyverse
CHARACTER: Rupert Giles
SUMMARY: Set during Helpless. Giles makes a decision.
SPOILERS: Helpless
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for adriannacoylho: C - 'Council versus counsel'
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

What have I done?

What have I done to Buffy?

I have betrayed her.

I have betrayed Buffy.

I have betrayed my Slayer, and for what?

Because of some archaic, ancient, ridiculous, cruel, inhuman task set down eons ago by the Watchers' Council, I have betrayed the person who means the most to me.

I was acting under orders. I was doing my duty. I was being a Watcher.

But that is not who I am. That is not all I am.

Buffy is no ordinary Slayer; thus I cannot be an ordinary Watcher.

I have sent her, I have allowed her, to go out and face her most deadly task yet - without her strength. What person, what man, what human does that?

Apparently I do. I, Rupert Giles does.

She is eighteen. Still so young, still the child, yet older than I; older than Quentin; older even than Angel.

She is eighteen and I have betrayed her. I, not the Council, I. For I did the deed. I put the needle into her; I put her into a trance and stuck a needle filled with muscle relaxant into her. I did that to Buffy. How could I have done that thing to her?

I cannot sit here and wait for her to be killed, wait for her to try to fight without her strength. That is not a real test; the real test is what she undergoes every single day. The real test is surviving, and she has done that - but to do so she needs her strength.

The Council will be angry; the Council will be more than angry. However, I no longer care. I am used to giving advice to Buffy, to the others, so now I am going to give advice to myself. I am going to put an end to this horror, this pathetic, evil ritual. I am going to tell Buffy the truth and face whatever she and Council throw my way.


It is over.

My job as Buffy's Watcher is over.

According to Quentin I have 'a father's love for the child, and that is useless to the cause'. So be it. He is not incorrect in what he said. I made my choice and I stand by it. I could not, I would not, stand by and watch Buffy risk her life over something so pointless. I'm not certain the Council understand that they could have lost the best Slayer they have had for quite some time, simply to fulfil some stupid rule.

My job as Buffy's Watcher maybe over, but I am thankful, I am more than thankful, that my job as Librarian is intact.

But even more than that, I am relieved, deeply relieved that Buffy forgave me for betraying her. She is not a child any longer; she is an adult. She understood why I did what I did and knows the cost of what I did.

She let me tend her wounds, like the child she still is.

TITLE: Libraries Contain More Than Books
AUTHOR: Nikki Harrington
FANDOM: Buffyverse
CHARACTER: Rupert Giles
SUMMARY: Giles believes his job would be much easier if the school didn't have students.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for adriannacoylho: D - 'Do we have to have students?'
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

I love books; I love the feel and smell of them.

I love my book-filled library; sometimes I just walk around and touch them.

I love being able to help the young discover the importance of books and what they can share.

But sometimes I firmly believe my life in Sunnydale High would be so much easier if it wasn't for the students.

You see, my library contains more than mere books; considerably more. And even some of the books are not for the general populace.

My library is where we, Buffy and 'the Scoobies' as Willow deemed Buffy's helpers, plan and discuss and research; it's also where Buffy and I sometime train. And all of those things are very difficult when the ordinary student come to visit and wishes to borrow a book.

Not that it happens very often, in fact sometimes days can go by when the only students I see are Buffy and her friends. But inevitably when we are about to embark on something important, a student will wander in. Thus, I have to take the time to help them; to point them in the right direction. I have to try not to let my desire for them to be gone show.

After all, I am employed as the Librarian; my first concern should be the students and the books. But in reality my position as Librarian is secondary to my role as Buffy's Watcher.

So we hide 'our' books, the stakes, the holy water, the axes, the crosses, the cage we lock Oz up each month, and the other paraphernalia other libraries will not hold, and must not be seen by the ordinary student or member of staff.

Yes, there are times when my life would be so much easier if students did not exist.
Tags: character: rupert giles, fandom: buffyverse, fanfic: stories

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