Nikki (nakeisha) wrote,

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Alphabet Meme. Lynley/Havers (Inspector Lynley)

TITLE: Dead Inside
AUTHOR: Nikki Harrington
FANDOM: Inspector Lynley
PAIRING: Thomas 'Tommy' Lynley/Barbara Havers
SUB-GENRE: Pre-Het. Angst
SUMMARY: Tommy's world is colourless following Helen's death and he can feel nothing. But Barbara finds a way to give him hope.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for sharpiesgal E - 'Emotions'. This story ignores the final series of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

He sits on the bench, head lowered, hands between his knees, trying to feel something.








But he can't. His emotions have stopped. He can't feel anything. Just as the world around him has lost its colour, he has lost the ability to feel.

She's dead. Helen, his wife, the woman he had loved, the woman who had lost his baby, the woman who had left him, the woman with whom he'd been trying to rebuild a relationship, the woman who had been his friend, the woman he knows he never should have married, is dead. And he can feel nothing.

He wants to. He desperately wants to. He wants to cry. He wants to curse. He wants to yell. He wants to feel guilty. He wants to feel guilty for not loving her more. He wants to do something to bring back the colour into the world. To bring back his emotions. But he doesn't know how to.

And then she's there, Barbara, his partner, is there. She sits down next to him and for a moment says nothing. He looks at her and for the first time since Helen had been killed he begins to see colour. For the first time since Helen was killed he begins to feel again. For the first time since he lost his wife and friend his emotions begin to return.

And suddenly it's all too much. Suddenly the colour, the feelings, the emotions are too much for him. He catches her hand and squeezes it tightly, so tightly he notices the colour begin to drain from it; but he can't let go. He has to hold on to the one thing, the one person who can make him see colour again, can make him feel again.

And as he looks into her eyes he sees it, not compassion, not sorrow, oh, they are there, but what he sees is something else. Hastily and clumsily covered up; but he sees it. She does feel the same way he does. She does want more than just a working partnership.

It's too soon now; far too soon. Not only would Barbara not allow anything more than this touch, he knows this is one relationship he has to get right.

So for now he just squeezes her hand and together they sit in the newly coloured, newly emotionally charged world.

TITLE: Kissing You
AUTHOR: Nikki Harrington
FANDOM: Inspector Lynley
PAIRING: Thomas 'Tommy' Lynley/Barbara Havers
SUB-GENRE: First Time. Fluff
SUMMARY: Set six months after Dead Inside. Finally, Tommy and Barbara go out to dinner, but Tommy can only think of one thing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Written for sharpiesgal J - 'Joy'. This story ignores the final series of The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

They've been in the restaurant for an hour now, and somewhat strangely it's Barbara who seems more as ease, more relaxed than Tommy does.

He'd spent a week agonising over where to take her, not wanting to make her feel uneasy or out of place, but also not wanting her to think he didn't think she was good enough to go somewhere special.

He can still remember the surge of happiness, relief, joy and excitement he'd felt when she agreed to have dinner with him. And from the look in her eyes, he'd known she'd known it wasn't just 'as colleagues'.

From the moment she sat down, she seemed to bloom under his eyes. He doubts she's been to this kind of restaurant before, but she seems completely unfazed, even the waiter placing the napkin on her lap hasn't troubled her.

She looks more beautiful than he's ever seen her look. Not that most people would call her beautiful, or even attractive, but he's always seen beneath the way she held her body, the way she cut her own hair, the lack of make-up, her oft-time surly nature, her ill-fitting clothing, to see the real Barbara Havers - the one she kept hidden; even from herself.

But tonight that is the Barbara who sits opposite him, and that makes him so very happy - knowing that she is prepared to be her for him. That she trusts him enough to be herself.

She's talking to him, but he hardly hears her words. He's eating and drinking, but he hardly tastes anything, because he can only think of one thing: how much he wants, how much he needs, to kiss her.

Finally she stops talking mid-sentence and really looks at him. "What?" she demands. "What's wrong? Have I used the wrong fork or something?"

She had done, but it hadn't mattered, because she'd done it with confidence. That was the fork she was going to use, thus that was the correct fork.

He shakes his head. "It's not that."

"Well, what is it?" She pauses and then says, "Tommy, what's wrong?" It's the first time she's used his given name and it causes another rush of joy to surge through him. He has to kiss her. He has to. It's like breathing; it's essential.

He catches her hand and lifts it to his lips and kisses it. She blushes and looks uneasy for the first time. "Tommy," she says his name again.

He leans forward and says, his voice low, his tone sensual, "It's just that I can't stop thinking about how much I want to kiss you, Barbara." He waits for her to blush again, but she doesn't. Instead it's her who looks up, catches the waiter's eye and beckons him over.

Half an hour later, he closes the front door of his flat behind them and with as much care as if she was made of porcelain gathers her into his arms, lowers his head and put his mouth onto hers.
Tags: fandom: inspector lynley, fanfic: stories, pairing (het): lynley/havers

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