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A Slash Friendly Journal
It's Sunday, another week has gone by and I'm still really waiting for my year to kick-start.

It's been a very odd start to the year, I've been pretty apathetic about things in general and don't really know why. Part of it is 'oh, look, here we go again yet another year', but it's more than that. That I normally just shake off. I've written very little this year thus far, in fact my output has been shocking - a mere twenty-eight stories and 23,659 words - by mid-May? That's surprising, shocking and depressing.

It's not that the ideas haven't been there, they have and I've stared several stories (yes, more WIPs) but I just haven't finished them or in some cases started writing. As you can tell from the word count vs. number of stories pretty much everything I have written has been short - most have been quintuple drabbles. And this is normally the time of year winter into early spring when I am at my most creative, before I slow down in the dreaded summer only to perk up again in the autumn and winter. But not this year.

I've even decided, well by virtue of not deciding *wry grin* not to do ncis_ficathon this year. It could have been a good idea, i.e. actually really kick-starting my writing but it could have stressed me out knowing I had to write a story for someone and I decided not to risk it. It's a shame as I always enjoy doing it, but I think it's wise this year.

The weather hasn't really helped as we have had pretty much constant blue skies and sunshine with very little break in them, which I hate. Thankfully, it hasn't been too warm, but even so for this time of year to have virtually nothing but sun and blue skies is very wearisome - I just hope it is not a sign of a really long, hot summer.

In lieu of actually writing something, I'm considering giving DiNozzo/Ziva their own section on my website rather than just having them under the NCIS General Series section, which covers slash, het and gen for any pairing other than Gibbs/Ducky and Abby/McGee. I realised today I'd written thirty-one DiNozzo/Ziva stories and I don't foresee ceasing to write them - quite the opposite; so it seems to make sense to give them their own section. Thoughts anyone?

I'm even considering breaking the General Series section down into NCIS General Series Slash; NCIS General Series Het and NCIS General Series Gen - but I'm still thinking about that.

And tennis 'season' has started again - well tennis doesn't stop apart from late November - early January, but I mean the tennis that actually gets shown on TV here: The French Open, Queens and Wimbledon, so that's something to look forward to - hopefully at least. Other than that I just follow the scores on-line.

There's nothing else really to say - other than this is also an attempt to get back to posting regularly on LJ rather than just birthday greetings, my Twitter posts and stories.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Current Mood: contemplative contemplative

26 Notes or Leave A Note
sagaluthien From: sagaluthien Date: 15th May 2011 14:58 (UTC) (Link)
1. My weekend has been work, a work that I took out little to much as I got one of those days everything is 'spinning', especially in arms and hands. Lucky I'm off for two days.

2. You not the only one that written less the last months. I'm happy if I could get 500 words written in a week. Before it has been more like 1500 for me. Mabey it is just to accept it is just one of those years.

3. Maybe when a paring and stories with them hit 30 or more and especially if you feel that will be more written it can be good to do a neew section. I do write both Fictional and real charcters I devided it into two post, and then several section in that. For my Fictional I have first done it by fandom (NCIS, would be one) and then after the paring. Some charcters do turn up in other characters stories, but I go for the main characters.
But you shall do what feel best for you.

PS saw your message.
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 15th May 2011 15:36 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry everything is spinning - I do hope you get to enjoy your two days off.

I know, I've seen others say the same, it's very odd. I don't want to accept it, as it seems like yet another excuse for me to do anything but write *wry grin*

My website is broken down by my main fandoms and a 'other pairings' section. The NCIS has G/D and A/Mc as well as general, but I think 30+ it would make sense to move it so it's like G/D or A/Mc - thank you for your input.

Indeed, that's the main thing.

I'm glad it got there safely - you never know with LJ!
ashley_pitt From: ashley_pitt Date: 15th May 2011 15:42 (UTC) (Link)
I haven't written much either this year. Maybe we just need to rest a bit and recharge our bunny batteries.
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 15th May 2011 15:49 (UTC) (Link)
I know I'm not alone, but my output is criminally low and depressingly low - it's just not right or me. Twenty-eight stories is more like two months for me, not five *sighs*

That won't for me, I've been doing that since January *sighs* It's not as if I have anything else to do, unlike most people who at least have good reasons for not being able to write, I don't.

I wouldn't mind so much if the word count was ten, even five thousand plus for most them them, but it isn't. Most are merely 500 - as writing is so important to me and makes me feel happy and helps me considerably, this is not conducive to a happy Nikki. Take writing away from me and I feel I have little purpose at all; writing is pretty much all I can do - as you know. It's a huge part of my life, the largest really.

Edited at 2011-05-15 15:58 (UTC)
nsandik From: nsandik Date: 15th May 2011 16:01 (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad to see you posting again! And you just need a cheering section. Let's make a pact to write 50,000 words by the end of August! That's (mumbling to herself) three and a half months. About fifteen thousand words a month. You can do it! Go, nakeisha!

And I will do the same!!! Yay!
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:50 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you *Smiles*

I don't know, honestly, I don't think that will help me. I think I'll just worry about it. I want to write, I have the idea, it's not writer's block, it's not anything I can put my finger on or even fully describe. Apathy seems to be the closest I can come - but I'm not sure it's that.

So, nice idea, thank you and for the cheering *Hugs* But I worry it might have the opposite effect and if I fail to do it, I think it'll just be worse.
caffyolay From: caffyolay Date: 15th May 2011 16:02 (UTC) (Link)
The writing thing is very odd because you've never been, like I am, a 'sporadic' writer. I never know when I'm suddenly going to want to write but you've always been very consistant. I hope your enthusiasm returns but in the meantime, don't worry... perhaps your muse just wants a little holiday. :-)

Yes, a nice weekend this end, very quiet... and absolutely *no* mice! (Hope I'm not speaking too soon...)
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:33 (UTC) (Link)
I know it is *sighs*

Thank you - I hope so too. It's not my muse, that's around, it's the actual writing and it's not writer's block, it's just apathy, is the best way I can describe it.

Quite is good - mice???!?!!?! Have I missed something?
katje0711 From: katje0711 Date: 15th May 2011 16:25 (UTC) (Link)
Have you ever thought about getting one of those sound machines that plays thunderstorms and rain, etc...? Maybe that would help on those days that are too sunny for you. Of course, you'd need to close the blinds. Or maybe you could tint your windows so it always looks grey!
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:35 (UTC) (Link)
I'm not that easily fooled, I'm afraid.

Ah, well you see I need the blinds open. Being disabled and virtually house-bound and living in a beautiful area, being able to see that outside from the relative comfort of my arm chair is essential.

But thank you.
leyosura From: leyosura Date: 15th May 2011 18:05 (UTC) (Link)
It sounds like you're ready for a change or a rest, or maybe you just need cheering up a little.
Try not to let it bother you. I'm sure it's just those bunnies needing a break, and they'll be bothering you again before you know it. :D

nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:37 (UTC) (Link)
Well the thing is nothing will change - except to get worse, that's how it is. As for a rest, well that's pretty much my entire life.

The thing is writing for me is as essential and important as - pick something you love to do - for me. So it does get me down, without writing there's nothing for me to do. It's pretty much my whole daily life. The bunnies are there, that isn't the problem, it's the actual writing and it's not writer's block either.
akane42me From: akane42me Date: 15th May 2011 22:01 (UTC) (Link)
We've got the opposite weather, maybe we could trade?
I sincerely hope you'll not feel depressed about your writing output. Your 'slump' looks like a lot of writing to me:)
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:38 (UTC) (Link)
I'd love to trade - please.

I wish I wasn't, but I am. Very much so. Writing is as important to me as something really, really, really important is to other people. Without it, there's not much going on in my life.
kytivafan From: kytivafan Date: 16th May 2011 00:05 (UTC) (Link)
I know what you mean - when I look at the calendar and see that is the middle of May, I just can't believe it, it seems as if Christmas was only weeks ago.
I also feel your pain on the writing decline, the only thing I have even been able to muster any effort for is your drabble challenge and I know it is something that I can do quickly - how sad is that?It's not as if I don't the have the time, I do - I just don't have the inspiration. It's interesting that the plot bunnies and muses have seemed to have left several of us - I haven't had an interesting plot line in months - I am hoping that the finale will give us lots to work with or it is going to be a long dry summer.
I think T/Z definitely should have their own section, but then I am kinda biased where they are concerned;) Your T/Z stories are among my favorites, so it would be convenient to be able to find them together, but I am all for what makes you happy.
Wishing you cloudy days,grey skys and cooling winds!
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:42 (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad you know what I mean - thank you. The year has gone by crazily fast.

And I thank you for the weekly drabbles, it's lovely. I wouldn't mind quite so much if I didn't have the ideas - I do, that's what makes it so much worse. I have tonnes of ideas (not to mention dozens of WIPs) it's the 'enthusiasm' to actually write them. I'd be happier if it were a complete writer's block, as odd as that may sound.

*Grins* Now why did I think you might say that? They are all in one place now, as clicking on DiNozzo/Ziva on the General Series page take you to the stories, but I feel they need their own 'page' as G/D and A/Mc have. Aww, thank you very much.

And thank you - I have grey skies today *Smiles*
ladyhannibal From: ladyhannibal Date: 16th May 2011 05:08 (UTC) (Link)
Sorry you're having a hard time writing too(and an accumulation of WIPS...as have I), and I agree, the weather has alot to do with it. :( But it's not nessarily the wordcound that counts, you've written some lovely short stories. :)

You shouldn't feel bad about not joining ncis_ficathon, don't stress yourself out more than you have too. Writing is suppose to be fun, not a chore, and when one makes it such, you can 'burn out' on it.

Kudos to all the Tony/Ziva fics and creating a new category for them. :)

Hope you break your inspiration block soon. *hugs*
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you - and yes, you've got it, it is the writing bit, not the ideas. Aww, thank you. I know they've gone down well. It's just hard to go from my usual output to this.

*Nods* Oh, I know, I know and I'd be saying the same to anyone else *wry grin* I do say it. But you know how it is.

Thank you.

Thank you very much *Hugs*
appleindecay From: appleindecay Date: 16th May 2011 06:52 (UTC) (Link)
Honestly I'm still waiting for the year to properly kick in too. Or my muse for writing my thesis.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the weather and the writing. But I think you shouldn't worry too much. Writing is supposed to be fun and nothing you should feel forced to do. I'm sure your enthusiasm for writing will come back, maybe you just needed this break to recharge your muse-battery.

And don't worry a sunny spring usually means a dreary summer.

Giving DiNozzo/Ziva stories their own section seems legit. :)

I hope you'll get back to writing as it seems to be something you really miss, but again, don't worry too much. That is exactly the reason why this phase will end and you'll be back full force!
nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:46 (UTC) (Link)
It does seem to be 'one of those years'. What is it about 2011? I know a lot of people are having the same issues. Eeek, now your thesis is important *Good vibes for you and your muse*

Thank you. I know it should be and I know it can't be forced. But writing is so vital to me, it's as important to me - as pick something that's vital and important to you. And as this has been going on since January, it's really getting me down. It wouldn't be quite so bad if I didn't have ideas.

*Grins* I'm glad you think so.

Thank you - it is, it really is. I feel incomplete without it.
doylebaby From: doylebaby Date: 16th May 2011 08:28 (UTC) (Link)
It's very frustrating when you don't really know the cause and yet it's still not happening, isn't it?

You should have our weather. It's grey, very windy and raining. *shivers* And I need to keep the window open because of the paint smell.

I've always had difficulties writing longer stories, 6,000 words is already huge for me and I've also gone through a period of writer's block during all of March and part of April.
I found that not giving up, but keep on trying worked best for me, although I'll never be a 'long-story' writer.

I hope you will be able to shake this off and get back to your usual output.

Just go with the flow, sweetheart, don't try to force it, that's all I can suggest.

nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 16th May 2011 09:48 (UTC) (Link)
It is, it really is. I'm glad you understand.

Oh, no :-( The smell of paint is horrible. I really hope it all goes to schedule and you can get back to normal soon.

Thank you - so do I. It's been going on for too long.

I don't try to force it, that's part of it. Maybe I should try - maybe if I do make myself write I will. It's not a lack of ideas, it's not writer's block, it's just . . . As you say I can't put a word on it, really.
slash4femme From: slash4femme Date: 16th May 2011 11:07 (UTC) (Link)
I totally understand about wanting to stress yourself out and things like ncis_ficaton can be really stressful especially if you do them on years when you just don't have the time or energy (thinks back to the bigbang I did last summer despite being insanely busy)

I'll miss reading your entry though.

nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 17th May 2011 12:09 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you. I'm glad you understand - wow, that was a task and a half you did.

Aww, thank you.

eldritchhobbit From: eldritchhobbit Date: 17th May 2011 11:13 (UTC) (Link)
*hugs you* Hang in there! I know in some ways how you feel, especially with the weather affecting your energy levels and enthusiasm, because I'm in the very same place at the moment. I'm taking care of work, but I get wearied by all the sun and warmth. Congrats on reorganizing your website: that's a great way to be productive even if you're not writing at the moment.

We'll get our grey skies and cool air one of these days, I hope. *more hugs*

nakeisha From: nakeisha Date: 17th May 2011 12:12 (UTC) (Link)
*Hugs back* I'm glad you understand. I'm sorry you're going through it too. Thank you - it did make me feel I'd actually achieved something.

We shall indeed *Eyes sky* You take care.

*More hugs*
26 Notes or Leave A Note